She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
