Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
