Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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