Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
