High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
