I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
