we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
