I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
