Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
