I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
