you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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