I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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