i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
