marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize