Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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