please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
