I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
