I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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