No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
