they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
