I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Sponge bath it is.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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