Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We're too hungover to prance.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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