i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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