i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
