i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
