I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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