I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
