4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
