you have to choose: penises or morals?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
