No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize