just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
