Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
