I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
