He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
