i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
