Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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