if you like me you must not know who I am
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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