i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
