well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
