You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
