You're so nebulous sometimes
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
