We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
