dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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