Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
wanna go halves on a baby?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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