Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
