I'm lost and stupid without you.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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