You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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