So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
