Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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