i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
