This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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