So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
