He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
even my farts smell like vagina
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
