At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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