JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the day after is always just damage control
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
