Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
