I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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