Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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