I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize