new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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