it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
