Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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