Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
