Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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