Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
