Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
