Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize