I love black thongs
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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