why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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