guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
