we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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