I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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