super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
