I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Mom said you looked used
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
